Let's be honest, we all have that one person (or in some cases, a whole flock of people) who have nothing better to do with themselves then to be miserable.
Why do we stay in relationships of any kind with those types of people? What is that we get out of staying friends for years on end with the woman who goes out of her way to complain about life, or the man that makes a point to tell you how terrible he is doing and how awful you should feel for him? In my personal experience, I only walk away feeling exhausted and empty of any happiness that was there before.
As a woman, I've noticed my tendency to empathize with people, no matter the level of honesty or lack thereof in their emotions. If a friend says that they are having a hard time, it's our natural reaction to want to help carry their burden. What is not natural, is the propensity to lean into the burden so much, that it becomes as if the burden was originally ours to start off with. Seriously what is that about anyway?
When did we stop giving ourselves the space and distance to be happy? Choosing to be happy sometimes can be difficult. Especially when the society we live in tells us that we are not good enough and that in order to be acceptable, we should be better, thinner, prettier, and wealthier. NEWS FLASH.... I'm pretty awesome just the way I am. Maybe my hair isn't as thick as it used to be, and my tennis game is a little less fantastic, but that makes me no less valuable as a woman or person.
I would like to believe that misery needs to have it's own island, where people who want to feel bad for themselves can go live with their own kind. Does that make me a terrible woman, friend, and person? Maybe, but I'm alright with that. What I do know, is that I am no longer willing to be in any kind of relationship with the person who is miserable.
I'm over being the person that carries the suitcase full of various peoples miseries. I will no longer participate in emotional sabotage sessions, comparrisons of troubled waters, or group misery sharing. I will not let friends or family steal my happiness only to be replaced with feelings of being overly harsh and unsympathetic.
Life is to short to be miserable. Love yourself, and others will follow suit!
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