So You Want To Be My Best Friend ....

I'm a complicated girl, I have unrealistic expectations of people, sometimes I am overly needy and more times than not... I laugh at inappropriate times! There I said it! 

Without further ado, here is the list of the most important things you should probably know about me, before taking on the task of being my BFF:

* God is real! I’m a hot mess and the only reason i’m even able to stand up, is because he picked me up out of the mud and is holding me up. Without him I would fall back into my sinful ways and be completely useless to anyone.To be considered for the position of Best Friend, you must recognize my faith and promise not to be offended when I place Christ before you, without him I am nothing.

* I do not eat beef! Long story short.. I just can’t get over the California cattle situation, it’s been 6 years.. I’m not going to change my mind!

* My grandfather is my hero. He was a great man and I measure every man in my life against him. I know it’s unfair, but you’ll love him as much as I do eventually.

* If there was such a thing as a zombie apocalypse  I’ll need protection. Let’s face it I would be too scared to run. I’m kind of a sissy when it comes to zombies. This is non-negotiable! 

* I have it on good authority that those power lines in major cities are really monsters (my mother told me so), laughing at me when i turn pale white and start sweating bullets in their presence, is unforgivable and terms for best friend license revocation on the spot! *read the book “The White Mountains” by  John Christopher and you’ll be afraid of those things too! 

* I loathe the movie “A Christmas Story” … end of story.

* I will always hold my breath when going over a bridge because it keeps it from falling into the water. My great grandmother is proof that it happens.. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A REPEAT PERFORMANCE! 

* When I was only 8, and visiting my grandmother’s burial plot, my older brother said that if I took one breath that the dead would reach out of the ground, grab me, pull me into the ground, and suck the life out of me. So I also take very serious precautions when visiting cemeteries  I don’t walk anywhere near headstones, i don’t breath while approaching said headstone, and, under no circumstances will I walk over the ground on top of the casket. It’s better to be prepared then to find out he was right when it’s too late! No laughing!

* Wednesdays are the best day of the week. I can’t help it, I’ve just always loved Wednesday! Maybe it’s because I still as an adult have to spell check it every time I spell it! It doesn’t have to be your favorite day, but that is a BIG plus!