5 Things To Know Before 35 ....

A few years into my Thirties, I started to become aware of things like building a savings account , what it means to pay for my own health insurance, and the rise in the price of a barrel of crude oil. At 30 life was still pretty easy go lucky, but I was excited about being out of my 20's because now there would be no denying that I was an actual adult.

I have made my way through many kinds of challenges over the past 35 years and I've learned that through all of the storms which have come my way, there are certain things that you can only learn from experiencing them yourself. These are just a few things that I've learned along the way that are worth passing on.

• Life Isn't About Me:

Isn't that the most heartbreaking truth of all time? As much as I love myself, it's most important that I love others more than myself. I can spend all of my money on handbags and shoes, or I can spend my money on clean water for hurricane relief in the Dominican Repulic and sending medical supplies to the Sudan.

It's so important to give freely to those people around you that are less fortunate not just because it's the right thing to do, but because those people are someone's sister, father, aunt, nephew, mother, etc. It's easy to just assume that someone else will do something to make a difference, but it's even easier to offer a hand in love and selflessness. 

• Know Your Deal Breakers:

We've all done it, gotten into and stayed in relationships that we knew wouldn't last forever. How many times have i said something like; "I love him, so I can overlook his spending habits" or "He only says those things when he's drinking."  and how about "She's my best friend, she isn't capable of doing that to me." ? 

Life would have been so much less painful if I had known my deal breakers 5 years ago. I wouldn't have stayed in that relationship as long as I did, I wouldn't have let myself be talked into do things I wasn't comfortable with, and I wouldn't have hurt as many people as I have along the way. It's so important to know how far you are willing to go before you begin a new adventure no matter what it might be or who it might be with. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache and regret in the long run, this is I promise you.

• Budget For Everything:

It wasn't until just a few years ago that I really started keeping track of where my money goes. I soon found out that I had been spending $39.48 per week and $157.92 per month on my venti caramel latte's from Starbucks. I mean sure I was earning free rewards left and right, but seriously.... almost $200 of my hard earned money was going to delicious life giving coffee. 

I sat down one night and went over my bank statement from the prior month and was disgusted with myself at how much money I could have saved if I hadn't spent it frivolously on things I didn't need or even really want. It took about a month, but I was able to set a budget for the next month and allow myself a certain amount extra for coffee's on the go a few mornings each week instead of every day. I also have been able to save money for the future and for trips that I would like to take with my bestie. Budgeting has been one of the best gifts I have given myself and honestly i'm not sure why it took me so long to get on board the budget train.

• Take Care of Yourself:

In March of 2016 I was all set to move to Texas and start a new life with my then Fiance (now husband). Boxes were packed, plans were made, and money was saved; but life had other plans for me. I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer and found myself at a cross roads. Go ahead with our plans to move me to Texas and have to start from the scratch finding doctors, or, stay in Missouri and do what needed to be done to take care of myself? 

As much as I hated the choice, I stayed in Missouri for another 3 months to care for myself and get the best possible medical care available to me. At the end of the day if i'm not okay then i'll not be able to take care of my family or responsibilities. It's so important to make the time to take care of yourself Physically, Emotionally, and Mentally. I care for myself by doing yoga twice a week, having coffee on the patio in the mornings, and taking a walk with our dogs in the evening . Find things that are simple and yet they allow you to breathe much needed life amidst what can be a very busy schedule.

• It's OK to say no:

Every Sunday I sit down with my planner and I map out my week. Appointments, events, celebrations, conference calls, and work duties are all color coded and put into their allotted time slots . I know what my week looks like before any additional requests hit my inbox, mailbox, or text messages. I have always been a "yes" girl. I would run myself ragged trying to complete impossible tasks, find impossible answers, and juggle impossible amounts of to-do's. I would eventually complete the task, find the answer, and check off the to-do's; but I wasn't doing any of them well or the best that I could.

In July of 2017 I made the choice to say no to over extending myself. I said no to birthday parties, wedding receptions, concerts, extending my client base, community events, dinners with friends, and other things that are all really great things. The truth is, I was making myself and my family a priority instead of things. I chose to spend a night at home with my husband instead of going to roller coaster park with my closest set of girlfriends. I chose to have a couple of friends over for dinner instead of taking on another client at work. I chose to take a weekend to go see my family in Missouri instead of volunteering my time with a local charity.  What it comes down to are priorities and finding the one or two things that you want to do well and succeed at in the season of life you are in. Say no, I promise that the world isn't going to fall apart!