Daughters Without Fathers ...

If my own father doesn't love me, who will ....
What did i do to deserve to be abandoned by my father ....
Why wasn't I good enough ....
Doesn't he know how much I need him ....
Is there something wrong with me ....

Replaced ....
Lesser ....
Small ....
Unlovable ....
Unworthy ....
Abandoned ....
Inadequate ....
Unwanted ....
Rejected .....
Disgusting ....


Questions and words that a girl without a father will wrestle with at one point in her life or another.

In my life, the pain of not having my father has run so deeply that as a young woman, I've had pretty serious trust issues. I have gotten in to and out of relationships that were built on lies, both mine and theirs. Thrown men aside  before they ever really got close to me because I always expected them to hurt me. Guarded my heart so fiercely, that not even my family and closest friends could get inside it's walls.

Growing up, my mother was my rock. She dated men who were abusive in one form or another toward her, my siblings, and I. I looked to every one of those men for the kind of love that my father had never given me, only to be left empty , disappointed, and feeling more desperate then ever for the love that was being withheld by my father. My mom loved each of us kids with her whole heart, but that was never enough for me. I wanted to know who my father was, why he left, and what I had done wrong.

"Fathers set the standard for how their daughters will be treated by men throughout their lives" Dr. Steve Perry said in a recent statement he was making about fatherless daughters.

I read the above quote, and it hit me square between the eyes. I realized the profound truth in Dr. Perry's message. I sat down and started thinking about all of the terrible decisions I've made, the hearts that I've broken, and the pain that I've caused all because I hadn't gotten over the pain that was left behind by the absence of my father.  I had never experienced the protection of a father, or the unconditional love that a father has for his daughter. I had never been vulnerable enough to really let a men get close enough to my heart, for fear that he too would abandon me; like my father had done all those years ago.

Years after i was able to finally sit down with my father, I found myself angry, and wounded even deeper, because he was incapable of loving me. Sure he said he was sorry, that he never stopped thinking about me, and that he loved me, but I was incapable of believing him, let alone forgiving him.

A few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, God lifted that burden from my heart. I heard His sweet whisper in my soul "Samantha, let me show you what love is; let me protect you; let me heal your brokenness, let me be the lap you climb into when you are hurt, let me guide you, let me be enough."

The next morning while I was gathering my things, I kept thinking to myself that with all of my history, with all of the pain that I've suffered and caused, that i was in for a rough journey ahead with God.

I prayed for understanding, wisdom and clarification and into my ears God sang Psalms 68:5-6.  "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing."  I cried for a solid hour, and it was as if the hole in my heart was being cleansed by the salt of the words written in ink that were being pressed upon my heart. GOD WANTS TO BE MY FATHER!

One night, I sat down and wrote a letter to my father, telling him that I loved him, that I forgave him, that I was praying for him and that most of all, I wished him the kind of love that made him want to be a better man.

I realized that i don't need an Earthly father who is temporary, and who can disappoint me. I have a Father in heaven, who has loved me since before He put the heavens, waters, and mountains in their places. I have a father who knows me, loves me, and wants to be a part of my life. Not only did He make me, but he made me intentionally and perfectly, without any blemishes! In God, I've found the healing that I so desperately had been searching for. His love is Perfect











PSALM 139:1-18



1.You have searched me, Lord,and you know me.2.You know when I sit and when I rise;you perceive my thoughts from afar.3.You discern my going out and my lying down;you are familiar with all my ways.4.Before a word is on my tongueyou, Lord, know it completely.5.You hem me in behind and before,and you lay your hand upon me.6.Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,too lofty for me to attain.
7.Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?8.If I go up to the heavens, you are there;if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.9.If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea,10.even there your hand will guide me,your right hand will hold me fast.11.If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me   

and the light become night around me,”12.even the darkness will not be dark to you;the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you.13.For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.15.My frame was not hidden from youwhen I was made in the secret place,when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.16.Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your bookbefore one of them came to be.17.How precious to me are your thoughts,God!How vast is the sum of them!18.Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.