Lessons From The Heart....

There are days that I wake up and just can’t get motivated. Today was one of those days. I got up, had a cup of coffee and tried to get myself into the “it’s time to get moving” mind frame…and alas.. no success… I guess my body is finally screaming at a deafening level that I need to rest. After several failed attempts, I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and be productive. Laundry - Check, Invitations - Check, Reply Email - Check, Cleaned Out Handbag - Check ….

I’ve been battling some pretty intense emotional stuff for the last two months. I’m not the best at emotional warfare, and i’m certainly not the girl that wears her heart on her sleeve either. I’m learning a lot about myself. It’s OK to be broken, it’s OK to be scared, it’s OK to not know what’s coming, it’s OK to let people in, it’s OK to admit when I’m wrong, it’s OK to have a past, it’s OK to put myself first for once, it’s OK to try and move on with my life.. MY LIFE. 

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a company looking to hire me as a consultant. I’m jumping at the bit to take it and get away from all of the stuff that’s going on, but I’m also afraid to leave. It’s not that I don’t want to leave, i’m just not sure if it’s the right thing to do, if i would be doing it because I run when things get tough, or if I really want this opportunity enough to face myself alone without any safety nets. 

I hurt someone i love recently, and at the end of the day I can’t take it back. I can’t stay in this pattern that I’ve built for myself.

I guess the question is.. What’s next? Where do I go from here?