Why Dallas Is More About The Journey Than The Destination .....

Have you ever just wanted a fresh start ? I don't mean just a revamping of your wardrobe, I'm talking about throwing everything out the window and starting from scratch!

Recently a friend of mine took an uninvited interest in my love life.. or lack thereof. This friend decided she was not content with me being happily single and carefree, so she passed my phone number unknowingly to a man she thought would make a good match for me.

When he first reached out to me, Mr.McDallas was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I didn't have any interest in a man, or getting tangled up emotionally with anyone. After a few days of conversations I started to pay attention to the things he was saying. I decided to see what kind of depth this guy had before i dismissed him as another guy that i had zero use for. We talked about marriage, failed relationships, children, and race car tracks (which i know nothing about by the way). I found myself at ease with him, maybe because neither of us were interested in a romantic relationship, but mostly because he was just easy to talk to. It wasn't until a lengthy conversation with P, I started to see that he was a man worth investing my time and emotions in.

Mr.McDallas is a Good man who is Funny, Intelligent, Genuine, Kind, Calm, Warm, Mild Mannered, Stable, Witty, A Real Man, Trust Worthy, Level Headed, Charming, Generous, Responsible, Honorable, Emotionally Available, Interesting, Honest, Knowledgeable, Engaging, Loving, Entertaining, Attractive, and 9 hours away. 

What woman in her right mind would try to find fault in any man with those qualities? THIS GIRL! 

I have considered that I might be wrong about all of the qualities that I think he possesses, taken apart pieces of our conversations piece by piece to inspect them for dishonesty, tried my best to push him away and I've come up empty handed every single time.

If I'm being completely honest about how I feel.. I am terrified of the consequences of opening my heart enough to let him creep into the dark corners that I have so cleverly hidden behind reinforced walls of steel.What happens when he see's the pieces of me that aren't put together? Sure he thinks it's cute now that i'm panicking at the idea of someone loving me, but six months in when i'm still panicking, will he still be willing to stand against the storm surge of my heart to tell me that he isn't going anywhere? When I push him to brink of exhaustion, will he quit leaving me alone in a sinking ship. 

This is where things get complicated; I have no desire to run away from Mr. McDallas and the train wreck that could be waiting for me around the corner. The red flags that I usually throw high into the night sky aren't there, I shut the emergency exit doors, and I'm not even trying to convince him that i'm not any good for him.I do however feel like i'm being pulled in the direction of this man who reminds me of a Unicorn: Beautiful, Rare, and Mythical. I don't want to go out with Mr. McDoctor (I'm saving that for another post), I don't want to go to dinner and a movie with the barista at Starbucks, I don't even want to go Bowling with Mr. Long-legs from the Supermarket. I just want to get to know Mr. McDallas in a very slow paced, honest space. He may be 9 hours away, but i'm going to make it a point to tell him how thankful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life.

I'm not saying that I'm planning a white dress affair with Mr. McDallas anytime soon, but I am going to give him a fair shot. No running, No pushing him away, No accepting anything less than his best. Love isn't easy, but it's a journey worth risking life and limb for. Maybe, just maybe Mr. McDallas is what I've been looking for, but have been too afraid to stop and actually pay attention to.

Until next time.